| so I've got this new fella right... super happy... he's great... blah blah blah blah
monday night he says he'll come over after wrestling.. i stay up til 2am only for him to say he's now too tired and will come over early on tuesday and we'll do something... fair enough
tuesday comes and i don't hear from him once!! wtf? am i wrong to be pissed off coz i sure as shit am!!
last time something like this happened to me it was with Seth... and he'd been arrested... nice... wonder what Jordan's excuse will be!! |
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| Why is it that when you're not on Xanga you can think of so many things you wanna write... but when you actually sign in it all just disappears?? WTF??
I'm actually in a superly good mood today for a change. And it's all because of a man. Why do men have the power to do that to us? It drives me nuts. I mean yesterday I was in a right shit mood all thanks to a man. And today I'm in a good mood because of a different man. It's weird. I don't like it. But in a way i kinda like it... I haven't got all that much good stuff going on right now so I guess anything that makes me happy is welcome!
Living here is sooo much harder than I thought it was gonna be. When I left and went back to England I didn't have my greencard so was ok with the fact I'd never be able to live here. I don't like having the choice, it makes things so hard. The only thing was that even though I'd left they still gave me my greencard like 6 months later. I tryed to ignore it and just be happy with living in England as I'd chosen but knowing I now had the choice to go back to America and actually work drove me crazy.
What if I'd made a mistake moving back to England?
What if I was gonna be happier this time round in America as I could actually work and have a life?
What if I listened to these doubts, moved back to America and then wished I'd have stayed in England?
I wasn't happy the first time round in the states for the most part so why move back? But at the same time I was really that happy in England either and would just think about the States all the time. Where was I gonna be happiest?
After a lot of back and forthing (is that even a word??) I decided to just give it a try back here. I mean I'm still young, have nothing holding me in either place like house, kids, husband etc. Friends and family I have in both countries but living in a different country doesn't mean I lose my other friends. I figured I'd come back, get my SSN, get my learners, be driving and get a job... all would be fine...
Except that I came back, got stuck at customs and threatened that if I ever left this country and worked in England again they would take away my greencard. Also that having a greencard isn't a free pass to go back in forth. I need to live in the states for most of the year of again they will take away the greencard. I can't remember the term they used for it but in a way I guess I'm lucky I came back when I did as from the date of issue of the greencard you get 2 years adjustment period and I'm like 3 months away from that being up so if I had tried to move back then they would've refused me and I'd have been shipped back to England. But maybe that'd be a good thing as the choice would've been taken away from me.
I guess next time I choose to live in England it'll have to be permanent... if I ever do.
After all that drama at the airport and coming home, I got my SSN. Woo hoo!! Thought that'd be enough to go get my learners but nope... had to open a bank account to get a bank statement as proof of residency here (was ineligible for the other items that were on the list). Mum lent me some money and I got a bank account and waited 3 weeks for my statement to come so I could back to the DMV. Finally got it and went back only to be told that my passport didn't count as proof of identification because it didn't have a visa in it... THEY TAKE IT OUT IN YOUR INTERVIEW WITH IMMIGRATION ONCE YOU ARE APPROVED FOR A GREENCARD SO WTF? I've got my greencard which counts as one proof but you need two proofs to get your license. I have no other proofs on the list except a really old immigration form that they say they don't always accept... so now I've gotta wait for mum to get round to taking me to try get my learners to see if that'll work. That will be the 4th time I actually go try for my learners!! If they don't accept that form then I am fucked... oh wait, they accept a marriage license as proof of ID... so maybe I should try get some stupid wanker to marry me LOL... lame.
Without my license I can only apply to places within walking distance of my house.. which is nowhere really. There are a few places that are like a half hour walk away so i've applied at all of them but guess what? None are actually hiring and I've heard back from none of them! How shit. Can't apply anywhere else as have no mode of transportation and ain't even close to getting it as they won't give me my learners. I only got hold my learners 30 days and I can go for my license so as soon as I get that I'm gonna do some hardcore learning to drive LOL... at least e not having a job means I got lots of free time to practise.
I've been here nearly two months now, no license, no job and no money. What a loser!! My little brother in England owes me almost $500.... the little shit hasn't sent a penny of it!!! Which hasn't helped either as I'm so fucking broke and mum doesn't give me any money even though I do loads for her. Guess she sees it as I'm not paying rent so gotta do loads of chores and babysitting to earn my keep... sucks...
I wanna be able to go out and do stuff with everyone else and have a life and just meh...
I really dunno where I'm going with this so just gonna leave it here...
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| whenever I go to view the comment Ronnie left on my last post it takes me to my myspace page... wtf??
that has so weirded me out I forgot what I was gonna blog about... and I was actually gonna do a proper one...
I wanna be able to drive already... can we go to the zoo Ronnie? xxxx |
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| Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets so love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it!! ***** That is so relevant to my life right now it's not even funny!! |
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